The Silk Road Mountain Race 2022: Arrived, Riding, and Winning.

Just 24 hours after landing in Bishkek, Nurjamal and two video and production crew members would pick me and my bike up from the guesthouse. Brooks England hoped to get video footage of me riding my bike for a little promo piece. I had planned to be in Kyrgyzstan a month before the race to acclimate and finish the last of the training, so it seemed that it would also work best for the little film.

We would drive for a couple of hours directly south of Bishkek, headed towards Ala-Archa Nature Park. Unfortunately, arriving at the park gate a little after sunrise, it was closed for the next couple of days, to our disappointment and confusion. Reassessing our options, we drove back towards Bishkek. Stopping around Tash-Dobo, the crew set up their camera so there would be a view of Ala-Archa in the background and the soft morning light.

Although I was jet-lagged and sleep deprived because of the excitement and heat (close to 100F during the day), I was full of energy FINALLY to pedal my bike around the mountains of Kyrgyzstan. It had been over ten years since my initial visit on my old steel touring bike, and now I had Baby Yak, which had been built for the mountains.

After riding back and forth on the pavement, we headed towards the Chunkurchak Valley. Finally, leaving the tarmac and finding gravel.

It’s almost like I lept out of the vehicle with my bike and started to ride up the switchbacks. We were fortunate to catch a shepherd and his horses. I rode up the pass to meet him while our camera guy followed up through the field and two others in the vehicle. It would take a lot to get me off my bike after finally getting here.

I had dreamed of this day for what seemed like forever. I was finally able to return to Central Asia with a bicycle. I was here to race in the Silk Road Mountain Race, something I had wanted to do for four years. Something I had worked very hard for, almost every day, for the last year. There is no way to describe how it felt, how each pedal stroke ignited a spark to grow the flame inside. It didn’t matter what happened from then on out because…

…I won!

All that work had gotten me to exactly where I had dreamt of. Magic exists. And I got to share it with others. Nurjamal and Tilek, our videographer, both took a little spin on Baby Yak. I’m still trying to convince them to race the Silk Road someday.

This was the point where we stopped and turned around. I told the crew I would ride down, and they would film out of the back of the vehicle. It was an excellent little ride to test my bike, and my tool canister flew off from the water, cage on the bottom/underside of the down tube. Twice. That would have been fun if I had found that out during the race, so I would strap down the canister for future riding.

I’m still not sure if I enjoy climbing or descending more. I think each is needed to appreciate the other. These were the first miles in Kyrgyzstan since 2012, and I felt terrific and grateful to be there. An overwhelming joy that perhaps can only be understood by those inflicted with wanderlust, infinite curiosity, and a genuine love of two-wheeled travel. I had been locked out of Asia for two and a half years. I was closer to being “home” than I could have imagined. I felt like who I was before Covid threw me off course. I found a piece of me that roams the mountains, awaiting my return.

The last two and a half years have been challenging for me. When I opened up to some people, they shamed me for my feelings because some people had died because of Covid. As if I had no right to feel so sad and confused about my loss and confusion. For years, I was waiting for the dream to end. I would wake up from a nap on the plateau, surrounded by my Tibetan friends and family. They would laugh at my little snooze, and we would resume with laughter, tea, and tsampa. We would dance. We would walk through the mountains. Sit around the hearth of the home and braid our hair. I would be walking towards the sunset of the infinite plateau horizon. It was all a dream.

I don’t expect others to understand my feelings, but I am thankful for those that can commiserate. Many of my fellow ex-pats had left China around the same time or were still enduring the insanity. Other friends that were travelers could understand, and many expressed their sympathies. They knew how much I loved my Tibetan and Uyghur lands and what an emptiness I carried. I remind myself that I can understand the diasporas a little more because of this experience and the inability to return. I will be a better photographer and, more importantly, a better human when I can return.

Getting here. Now. To Kyrgyzstan was one of the first things I have done for myself in a very long time. I spent over a decade working and saving every cent to pursue projects with Tibetans and Uyghurs. There was guilt if I wasn’t on the path to helping others. But I forgot to care about myself along that route. And so, for the last year, I put everything I had into getting to Kyrgyzstan. To arrive at that start line and try to finish one of the most difficult bike races in the world. All I wanted was to get here. And I did.

And I won.

The sun is rising in the sky, and it’s getting hot. So we decided to return to Bishkek to rest and return to the mountains later in the day.

Strava route can be found here.

Images of Bishkek

The heat is unbearable during the daytime hours. I can barely get any sleep as my hostel dorm room has no curtains, and the AC isn’t turned on. I believe this is for the best, as I think it will help me acclimate to the heat, but I think the lack of sleep eventually caught up to me.

Around 4 pm, we loaded back up and drove Southwest of Bishkek towards Kegety Pass. I remembered part of the route out of the city from the first Silk Road Mountain Race in 2018. Fond memories and somewhat surreal. We would turn off before Kegety and head towards the same mountain range but up Alamedin Gorge.

Glaciers in the background peaking over 15,000 feet, fresh water, and that alpine landscape. I seem to be getting closer and closer to the heavens.

I was able to ride a bit of double and single track. The bike is so light and nimble without gear, and wishing I could ride every day with a nearly bare naked baby yak. I could imagine I was back in Colorado or Washington or returning to when I was riding my fully loaded touring bike around Tibet. Sometimes I think about how heavy that bike was with all the gear and imagine what it would be like to return with such a lighter setup.

Up the Alamedin Gorge, you’ll find fresh flowing water, flowers, waterfalls, and hot springs. Small villages are lower, but it gets much more remote after the last village at the bridge.

Strava route can be found here.

While we were up there, where the road ended and turned to single track, Nurjamal found her “dream house.” And to be honest, it was mine too. However, the house seemed out of place for Kyrgyzstan as it seemed to be entirely new construction, well cared for, and even a guard sitting on the porch.

Again, I couldn’t resist riding down the gorge on the bike and would take the lead from the vehicle considerably. Washboard and washed-out roads are much less demanding on bikes. I took a little detour up a hill with my extra time and then found an apricot tree to enjoy the first fresh fruit of the trip.

The van would arrive, and I reluctantly loaded back as I wanted to ride forever. Finally, I felt back to myself. Before returning to Bishkek, we would catch the sunset and record a few moments of my riding on the road. A small car came around the corner and swerved to avoid me as I rode back to the vehicle after a short descent. I would ride this road again when I left Bishkek for Osh in a few days.

On the third day, July 14th, we would meet later. Again, I had difficulties sleeping in the hostel. A couple of guests didn’t want to turn the lights off, and one stayed up all night on her computer. This coupled with the heat, I couldn’t sleep and knew I was asking for future problems by going into a sleep deficit. So I decided to leave in two days to head into the mountains, where the air is cooler, and I can ride while catching up on sleep in the evenings.

Jet lagged and sleep deprived, I took a walk early in the morning to get the last of the supplies and food to head me out on the road towards Osh. I was estimating a week to ride but knew I would have some villages where I could refill supplies. But, I was looking forward to getting away from towns and more into the remote mountains. Also, loading up on extra gear would allow me to train more with weight for the race.

The quiet morning through the parks and a city just coming to life felt so welcoming and comforting. It reminded me of all the walks through China. When I lived in Shanghai, I would walk everywhere during all hours of the day—sometimes starting at 4 am or 4 pm. I would walk and have all my senses wake up while clearing my mind. Even though I grew up in a small town and love getting lost in the mountains or roaming the plateaus, it’s the big cities where I feel the most anonymous and unnoticed. No one cares about you or what you’re doing. You walk, questioning your existence. Does no one notice me? Am I even here?

The street sweepers pull at my heartstrings. It was one of the first things that captivated me about Asia. Especially during my first visit to China in 2007. And then, during my 2010-12012 bike tour, I would spend countless hours with street sweepers on the side of highways or in the middle of villages. Then when I would continue doing long-distance walking and hitchhiking, they were still the ones that provided me proof—that proof of existence.

The roses of Central Asia. You can’t miss them. You’ll find them in the parks and along the tree-lined roads. You’ll find them in the homes. That morning the smell seemed to float among the cool breeze trailed by the heat that would soon engulf the city.

Then there are the groceries. I can’t express the feelings I have when entering a supermarket in Asia after nearly three years. The colors. The smell. There is something so very different than those in the US. There are some different methods, too, but I understand it all.

It feels like I’m home. I’m finally home. Close enough, at least.

I don’t know how to describe it. It just feels right. It feels as if Bishkek hasn’t changed since I first visited in 2012. It feels comforting to be around women covering their hair in scarves and men wearing doppas. I would do nearly anything to stay forever. To stop time. To pause the progression.

That is one of the biggest inner turmoils I have been battling since leaving Asia. The passing of time and looking at the last decade and seeing what I did “wrong” or should have done instead. Where did that time go? I was bouncing around Asia for nearly ten years, having the time of my life. Then it ended. I took things for granted. Too often, I said, “next time.” I learned a harsh lesson: sometimes, there really is no “next time.” I don’t know when I will be able to spend time with my friends in Tibet. Or with my Uyghur friends, for more than a couple of reasons. The last three years have been memories filled with longing and regrets, and I don’t ever want that happen to again. I want to make the clock stop ticking and exist in these moments for all eternity.

At the time of this writing, I can at least say I don’t have any regrets from my time in Kyrgyzstan last summer, at least from what I had control over. Perhaps I would have taken more photos, but I did my best to balance a race, riding, and time. Time. The most precious thing we have.

I would go back to the guesthouse to try and rest before going out with the crew in the afternoon. Again, the heat has become unbearable, and I end up sitting outside and resting on the tapchan. The tapchan is one of the things I love the most about Central Asian countries. When I bike toured through the “Stans”, I spent so many nights sleeping on them at roadside cafes or in the backyards of a family’s home. Countless conversations, pantomiming with tea, naan, fruit compote. Especially apricot.

While waiting, I spent some time prepping my things for the road. My Tibetan professor had given me a Tibetan prayer to recite at the mountain tops for world peace. I was also given some time to catch up with my favorite traveler of Central Asia. Alick Warburton. A kiwi that can speak Russian has traversed over some of the most regions and routes of the region. He always has an answer to my questions of the region. An enCYCLEpedia on two wheels. I was so fortunate to meet him in a guesthouse in Dushanbe during the summer of 2012. And we haven’t seen each other in ten years, but perhaps our paths will cross again. And, of course in only the most remote regions of Asia

While driving up to the mountains, I teach Nurjamal the art of “your momma” jokes, dancing in the van, and flower picking. It’s been an absolute joy to share time with Nurjamal again. She is one of a kind, and her laughter and big heart are genuine.

We headed up the mountains to a yurt camp near Kegeti Pass again. We are looking for some nomad camps to film in, but it is challenging to remain this close to the city. There is a tourist yurt camp, and after we could get a few minutes of filming, a not-so-kind boss man chased us out.

Happier than I can imagine.

Me and Baby Yak

Mountains and Yurts.

It’s been a few years since I found myself in a yurt. Even with the lapse of time, I am still very aware of the etiquette and symbolism of yurts and nomadic life. I have to be honest; I have to turn away too often when I see foreigners in yurts for the first time, and no one has told them some of the etiquette or how to eat from shared plates.

The center of a yurt is called a tündük. It is also the emblem of the Turkic peoples and symbolizes their unity and connection. This symbol is found on the Kyrgyzstan flag. It is actually a depiction of the first thing one sees when waking up in a yurt, namely the construction of the pinnacle of every Kyrgyz yurt with three crisscrossing laths across the circular opening at the top of the yurt.

Tilek got another chance to ride Baby Yak, and I have high hopes he will race someday.

After the angry Kyrgyz chased us off for hanging around his yurts, we found a very kind guesthouse owner that was beyond hospitable. He allowed us in his yurt, where we were able to spend some time with him and his wife. We had a little lunch, and then the afternoon finished with a beautiful rainbow and some donkeys I chased down to kiss.

That night, again, I did not get much sleep, and I hope you can foresee enough with the mention of it that it may catch up with me at some point.

The following day, on July 14th, I went for a back massage at a clinic for blind masseuses. It was recommended to me by a local Kyrgyz. Nurshat. Give that guy a follow. I later found out that besides being a cyclist and runner, he helps visually disabled Kyrgyz run and even competes! Learning that and then understanding why he was tied to runners made me cry; what a wonderful soul to share something like that and encourage others to break past boundaries.

After navigating through a beautiful Central Asian garden, I found the complex. I waited outside in the shade and noted all the colorful flowers, clean white homes, and bright blue skies.

The young woman that gave me the massage was shy and apologized for her poor English. I took a taxi more than 30 minutes from the city to visit her. After doing this so much in China, I understood there would be a communication issue. Especially since she couldn’t read Google translate on my phone. I had to use my old ways of communicating and use more hand-holding and writing on hands, than pantomiming. She was sweet, and Nurshat told me she had worked hard and saved enough money to buy her apartment. These are the stories that give me the strength to carry on toward my own dreams.

She did state that my back was “bad”. That is not new news to me. Everyone comments on it. I heard it nearly every time I went for a massage in China. Sometimes the diagnosis was much more frightening than others.

Now, I was ready to go! Tomorrow. Finally. After a year of preparing. After four years of dreaming of this day. After ten years of being here for the first time on my bicycle. I am here. ME. The me that’s been missing for too long. I’m here and ready to go.

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a moment to create.

The Film:

Silk Road Mountain Race 2022: The Preparation

THE WHY

From 2010 to 2012, I rode my bike around China and Central Asia as a solo cyclist. I had ridden on a Brooks saddle, and since that initial adventure, Brooks England has reached out to me regarding writing for their publications and audience. These writings were about bike riding, fear, or empowerment as a woman. It’s challenging to find a single label for how I travel or what I do, as my endeavors involve adventure, human rights, women’s issues, and photography. I like to consider myself just a very curious troublemaker. The good kind, of course.

Brooks England asked me to be the photographer for the inaugural Silk Road Mountain Race in Kyrgyzstan. As Bikepacking.com stated: “The Silk Road Mountain Race is a fixed route, unsupported, single-stage cycling race through the Tian Shan mountains of Kyrgyzstan. It will follow gravel, single and double track, and old soviet roads that have long been forgotten and fallen into disrepair.” It would be a 1000-mile race with 85,000 feet of climbing.

I toured through Central Asia in 2012, as I was ending that two-year-long bicycle tour. Kyrgyzstan, I knew NOTHING about bike races let alone ultra-endurance races. Besides needing my photography skills, I had a lot of experience with the people, culture, and lands of Central Asia. Therefore, I was given the task of dealing with logistics and supporting our expedition team which would consist of three other people.

When arriving at Shanghai Pudong airport to make the flight to Bishkek via Urumqi, I saw a couple of guys with bike bags. What are the chances that these guys are going to the race, I made an awkward introduction. One of the guys would end up being Jeff Liu of Factory Five and assisted in the route and race creation that year. Jeff would end up designing my titanium frame which would be a three-year-long build until I raced it last summer in Kyrgyzstan.

It had been six years since my last visit to Kyrgyzstan and felt like it had remained in a time capsule, especially compared to the rapid pace of life in China. It felt great to be back in Central Asia and in the cycling world. There was a part of me that felt like I was missing something, and that was my bike. But I had my crew. Cyril Chermin, Jay, and Nurjamal as our translator and fixer.

The four of us were given a Russian buhanka (van) to document the race while also serving as a support vehicle. “What happens stays in the van”. I could write up this story for pages but I’m here to tell you about my race experience last year. There were a few moments in 2018 that did motivate me to race one day.

There was the initial interview with Jay Petervary. I heard a hum and excitement about “JP”. I feigned that I knew, but really had no idea of the legend. As I was interviewing him, with off-the-cuff questions, I felt my mood mirror his and couldn’t quit matching his smile and enthusiasm. I understood his passion, drive, and wanderlust. “Wait, I’m kind of like this guy too. The good kind of “crazy”. You can see that film and interview here!

During the entire race, the Brooks England crew pondered over who would race in the future. From the start line, I saw that I belonged out there. As a long-distance touring cyclist, my brain is wired to find a pace and hold it. Also, my outdoor skills and years of adventuring around China as a solo woman had prepared me for nearly anything. I knew how to take care of myself in the most remote areas, acclimate to extreme temperatures and weather, and protect myself from the most unpredictable animal out there. The human.

Maybe it was because it was the first Silk Road Mountain Race, but I witnessed a lot of mistakes that could have been prevented by experience or just understanding the region. I’m not fast or strong, but my skills in remote regions and my ability to remain calm is my strong suit. Determined, resilient, tenacious, and highly competitive with myself.

At one of the checkpoints along the shores of Issy-Kul, Jeff Liu let me ride his bike around and holy shit, that was it. That was the moment I knew that one day I was going to race. The cold against my face, the heartbeat rising to deal with the altitude and freedom. The intense feeling of freedom.

The community was also a reason I wanted to race. I witnessed racers creating lifelong friendships with comradery and understanding that’s hard to find. Having lived in China, up to that point, for 10 years and all my solo travels, I longed for that. I wanted community. I wanted friends that “get it”. It seemed this exposure to ultra-racing would change my life like it has so many others. Even though I didn’t race, I still made friendships during that adventure I still have today.

I would take the titanium frame home from Shanghai just a few months before Covid changed all of our lives and trajectory. During January and February of 2020, I was in east Tibet working on a long-term photography project and would have to leave because the country was being shut down and I was getting stuck.

At a loss, again. I felt lost, again. A similar feeling to what instigated that two-year-long bicycle tour. I had lost my reasons, or at least I couldn’t return to the regions where they were. Everything I had worked towards and planned on was taken away while the entire trajectory of my life changed. I had planned to spend my future in Tibet.

Bike rides can fix that!

Because of delivering photographs, I had “met” a lot of racers from the first Silk Road. One amazing human was Jesse Blough. After communicating via Instagram about bike stuff, I would arrive in October of 2021 to participate in my first ultra, the Big Lonely. The race took place from Bend, Oregon, and would total around 300 miles.

I survived and finished. Including riding and hiking through the snow over the last mountain pass to pull up on the position. The woman I had passed during the night was Alissa. We spent some time riding together and got to chatting. We had a lot in common and it was super cool to meet someone from a similar background of riding, and age.

Of the 38 riders, 12 finished and 8 were women. An astonishing statistic along with 90% of the women that started, would finish.

That was another step to seeing if I wanted to pursue SRMR (Silk Road Mountain Race). The community is stellar and remains in contact with Jesse, fellow racers, and even Erich the event photographer. That race in Bend opened up more connections in the area, and when I struggled with my brakes a few days before SRMR 2022, Julia with Chariot Bike Shop in Bend and Erich sent a video helping me swap out my brake pads. I mean, seriously?! Bikes bring amazing people into my life.

THE HOW

Training started in November before the application even went live for SRMR 2022. I trained until June when I would have to pack up the bike and make the final decision on gear. Training included A LOT of weightlifting and strengthening. I have a long list of injuries and for the first time, my back pain ceased. That one was picked up when trying to cross a river with my bike in Tajikistan. A daily reminder not to be stupid and be careful of water crossings.

There were also two weeks in Seattle during the middle of the winter where I was getting my NOLS Wilderness First Responder. I was determined not to be a liability while also being able to help others should they need it.

In January, I took a short bike trip out to Arizona with my partner, Nick. I tackled the Hangover bike trail in Sedona for the second time and left my ego at the top. Those Arizona double black diamonds will surely knock someone’s confidence off a ledge. That trip ended with me crying and swearing I was giving up bicycles forever.

During June I would spend a few weeks in Utah and Colorado riding singletrack on my full-suspension mountain bike with my brother.

Chris and I tried to summit Mt. Elbert, a 14’er in Leadville Colorado but we hit snow so close to the top. It would have been both of the first 14’ers with a bike. I really wanted that first to be shared with him. We went to Camp Hale, where the Tibetans were trained in the early 1950s to fight against the People’s Liberation Army. Again, more snow but it was so special to be there and go up to the Kokomo Pass.

Later I would venture down to southern Utah alone, climb and descend the Spinal Tap trail, and felt like my bike handling skills, and speed had drastically improved. Just a few months before I was going to sell all my bikes and just turn away. But mountain biking becomes more fun the more you shred and less hammer.

While out west, I was able to summit my first North American 14’er with my bike and plenty of pushing my bike through snow and up rocks. I also got to finally meet Lauren Brownlee for dinner. Although we both raced in the Big Lonely, we didn’t get to meet in person until last summer.

Leading up to then, I had done some shorter gravel rides, including a few days on the Rock Star gravel route in Virginia and sections of Sheltowee single-track trails with my partner. The Sheltowee is one of the gorgeous areas in the region, but the trails don’t see a lot of traffic. So, there were plenty of moments of hike a bike or wanting to sit down and sob out of frustration.

Brooks England had contacted me regarding gear sponsorship and as their SRMR ambassador. They had enjoyed my endeavors over the last decade and how I pursued a fulfilling life of adventure as a solo woman in Asia while balancing life and the mission of helping. They hadn’t had a female ambassador during one of their races and this would be the year. Because this would be my third time in the country, most people figured I would at least finish.

It felt like it was an excellent opportunity to give a different “voice” to the world of cycling and said, “yes”. For someone who has a career and mission not connected to bikes while being transparent with struggles that many of us can relate to, it felt like a good opportunity. “Bicycles saved my life” but also was the tool for me to find a more meaningful life with immense purpose. To find a route of servitude to others.

I’ve been around long enough to know that sponsorship will not make me rich and famous. I saw it as a potential platform to talk about important things to me and should be to any traveler. Especially those traveling slowly across foreign borders and living within different cultures and religions.

There had been plans to get out to Kyrgyzstan at least a month before the race, with the hope of finally riding the Pamir Highway in Tajikistan. In 2012, during my two yearlong tour, I arrived in the capital of Dushanbe with hopes of returning to China by the Pamir Highway. A few days into my route, and while I was close to dying in a river crossing, a civil war had broken out in the eastern regions, and the country closed its borders and the roads that would get me close to the China border.

Yet again, the borders were closed because of unrest. Nothing new or surprising, and I would make do with routes through Kyrgyzstan.

After fine-tuning my “Baby Yak” for months with Jubal in Chillicothe, I arrived in Bishkek with my bike around 4 am on July 11th. I returned to the Sakura Guesthouse, where I had stayed in 2012. I sat outside and waited about 2 hours for sunrise not to disrupt the hosts. 

THE ARRIVAL

Once in the guesthouse jet lagged, I began tearing apart my luggage and putting my bike together. The excitement was real, and I couldn’t wait to ride my bike in Kyrgyzstan again after ten years!

It was also planned to meet with Nurjamal and her production team to do some videos for Brooks England. We were to start at 4:30 am the following day. We had stayed in touch since working together on the Brooks Media team in 2018 and when they requested some video footage, I couldn’t think of a better place and crew.


Introducing Baby Yak

My bike is called “Baby Yak” or pronounced “Yak chook” in Tibetan because it was initially built and developed for this SRMR and to ride around eastern Tibet, where I had traversed for the last decade. Both Tibetan and Central Asian, as well as Native American shamanistic beliefs, are strong on animal symbols that are referred to as totem animals or “power animals.”  In Tibetan legend, wild yak is said to be “stars” living in heaven, and the yak is always imagined to be a safeguarding god.

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a moment to create.


Tajikistan, Part 3 (July 23, 2012)

Awaking the next day with heavy eyes as the cool dawn begins to break into the early morning heat. The aches and pains and are extremely acute as I roll off my sleeping mat, as an invisible force is nudging me to get out into the bright sunshine; onward through the beautiful and majestic valleys of Tajikistan. I’m more groggy than usual, as dogs barking throughout the night continually pulled me across the floor, careful not to disturb the old woman and small child sleeping, to the window to check on bicycle and the four bags attached at her sides and top.

The house begins to take upon life, as there are women’s voices break the silence, as I dress and prepare to depart. The old woman asks me to stay for breakfast but I kindly insist I must carry on. Generally breakfast will take a few hours and it’s never been a eat and run type of an affair. Using those early morning hours to cycle will make the difference of 50-70 km a day, to end with a full belly of traditional Muslim food and a long nap under an apricot tree.

Saying my thanks with “rexmet”, speaking in a native tongue based upon Turkish, I exit the mud packed home into the chilled morning light to continue on.

The sun gets intense, and heat unbearable where it sometimes reaches 48 degrees, so I need to make as much progress as possible.
Yesterday had been a short day and the remind myself that I must make up for lost time.

I traverse along a single lane, with deep crevasse jeep tracks, going slowly up a valley. I lost asphalt nearly two days ago as I had chosen to take a route that most people don’t ride. I had debated about the route as no one could give me an accurate description of the area and there is a missing section of road on the map. Like usual, I was not quite sure what to expect but knew I wouldn’t see dozens of cyclists. Spending over 20,000 km already through China where I can speak the language, I am notorious for pulling myself off well traveled routes to see what else the world has to offer…but…sometimes there is a reason a particular route is not taken by the masses.

wandercyclist_8910

Stopping about fifteen kilometers ahead from the community I had stayed in the previous night, I stop for breakfast and supplies. Far from a proper town, supplies are limited but I make do with sodas, naan, and sugar glazed cookies filled with an apricot jelly.

Thankful for the dark storm clouds rolling in and the cool breeze on my skin, I know this will cut down immensely on the heat. I will be able to cycle through the early afternoon without a break. The trees are disappearing and it’s becoming rock mines along a raging brown river. I had been warned of the rivers and glacier melts during the summers; later learning that they were higher than average this summer. The water is angry and completely out of control; hearing her beating against the stone banks and walls. Such a contrast to the cool breeze, gentle rolling clouds, and the steady and calm beat of my heart.

There have only been one or two Land Rovers driving in the opposite direction since leaving the last town about 4 hours earlier. It’s becoming lifeless except for the massive rusted mining machines and mounds of gray stones. The road is more difficult as the stones cause me to lose my balance at times…tipping me off balance a few times, causing my right foot to try and find traction among the broken stones.

Spotting a small pond where the water was flowing clear and shade provided by some short trees, I decide to push over to watch the direction of the storm and to repair a snapped bolt on the front rack. There is no one around and decide to wash my clothes, feeling guilty I had a clean body living in the filthy and salt marked cycling clothes. Although my hair had been washed yesterday with bar soap and seemed to make my oily hair even worse, so a proper shampooing was in order.

One man stops to speak with me, only to return to give me some strawberry cookies he had in his Land Rover. He begins to get a little closer and asks me more questions than I bargained for and realize I have to back him off. I’d had enough men make assumptions about a single American woman in Central Asia and knew I needed to ward off any preconceived ideas.

“Is he your friend?” The man asked me in Russian and points to a blonde Tajik boy with a knapsack and dog. It took me a second to figure out if this kid was another traveler, just choosing to walk but realized he was a local. Deciding that an innocent lie is order for this moment, “No, my friend is ahead.” Which always confuses them because they assume friends should always be together. The man drives off after putting some water in his radiator and the boy has gone up towards the cliff across the road from my trees.

After washing my clothes and hair, I put on some traditional Tajik Atlas printed pants that were made in Dushanbe and hang my wet clothes up in the trees, needing to secure them as the storm is making it’s way closer. My hair tied and wrapped up on my head, I attempt to fix the snapped bolt. The best I can do is to use pliers to tighten the headless screw into the eyelet threads.

The vivid blue sky has now been completely grayed out, and it begins to rain upon me and my damp clothes. I put on rain gear to cut down on my chills and to cover up my wet, yet clean hair. Thinking it’s probably best to stay under this three for a little bit of coverage, I begin to organize my panniers, as I had dumped everything out digging for soaps and tools.

There is a sound in the bushes behind me…like the sound of something hard falling into dried grass. I stop, there is no one around…what was it, who is it? Another. Then another but it comes through the 2 meter high trees I’m standing under.

Rocks!? Why are there rocks falling from the sky. Walking out from under the trees to straighten up, I look around. My left arm is hit with a piece of gravel then “crash” and another “crash”, these are fist size stones if not bigger.

Across the gravel road and about 15 meters from me there is a cliff, approximately 50 meters high and I see the blonde boy and his dog. The sky is dark and I can barely make him out has he begins to launch another rock, then another.

“Hey! You, I see you!” in English. I had studied Russian for three weeks in Bishkek but when you begin to feel your blood boil it’s not so easy to squeeze out the translated words.

He launches another and begins to pick up another rock. The rocks are getting bigger; the heaved stones have less time between them. His aim is definitely improving too. I again repeat that I see him and he needs to stop while choosing a few four letter words that is understood throughout the world. The dog is barking and running back and forth along the edge of the cliff. Rocks continue to rain from the sky, overtaking the harmless precipitation that had previously been speckling my body.

During my first few months of tour I learned my “War Cry”, something I didn’t even know existed until it had to be used to remove a man’s body lying atop of me. It came to surface because it’s all I had to fight with, the shrill death cry coming from a woman that feels her existence being shattered from within. This moment isn’t so frightful as some of my previous battles so I knew it must be conjured up like a masterful magician, or rather resourceful sorceress.

Now intense feelings, deep buried memories, frustrations are brought to the surface; I allow myself to feel vulnerable and scared. Opening my mouth to inhale has much air as my lungs can take to push the call of anger from my cracked and sunburned lips. As my breathe moves from my guts, I keel over at the waist to make sure that all of these emotions have found their way out of my soul. I let out another and another. Sometimes it feels difficult to stop, releasing emotions that have been shoved deep within my mind for the simple act of survival.

The boy and the dog have now disappeared. I pack up my bike and know it’s time to get out of here as fast as possible. Slightly damp and clean clothes are put back on my shivering body and my clean hair braided, I assume I would be leaving danger behind.

I had rested my bicycle on her drive-train side, so I could manage repairs. I’m a bit uncomfortable pulling her from the other side so the tire slips down the damp soil. The sharp silver teeth from the triple crank puncture deeply in the front of my right ankle. Water nearby is turning bright red from the blood rushing from my body. There is nothing to do but remain calm.

All I can question at the moment is,“Did I puncture something important under the skin, deep into my body…I hope this stops…and I don’t bleed out here in the middle of nowhere Tajikistan.”

I’m splashing water on it from the stream, which I know isn’t the best antiseptic to be cleaning an open wound. Especially since I had been watching the cattle bathe and drink from the same water a few meters away, my little pond only separated by a few inches of mud. The bleeding continues…and it’s not letting up.

A Tajik woman is now watching me from the cliff. Too many people are aware of me, I’ve let out the crazy woman “war cry”, and the boy has also returned. I hate, and avoid, confrontation or really any uncomfortable situations in unknown territories. Especially when I can barely speak a few words of the language. In China, I’m more than willing to argue and reprimand as I can speak and understand the culture after living there for more than 4 years.

I push the bike to the road keeping my eyes on my foot, watching the blood stream down my leg and the dark red beads of blood stream down into my sandals. Another battle scar.

Deciding to walk the bike after the injury, the rocks, the scream, and the storm…just get the hell out of here and to allow myself to find calm physically and mentally. There had been days like this before and did not take notice of the omens.

wandercyclist_8973

Around the cliff and continuing up stream I am met by an older Uzbek man carrying a stack of newspapers. We communicate through broken sentences and some pantomiming. He has me write my name down on a notebook and invites me to stay at his home for the night, as it’s storming. I politely decline, as his home is about 3 kilometers downstream. Rarely do I backtrack and had made little progress over the past 24 hours. We parted with smiles and I continue to walk my bike over the road which had now become loose stones. Experience was telling me I was finding my way off the beaten path.

The next two hours I would be alternating between riding and pushing through loose gravel, slowly going up and some rocky and steep descents. Once passing a mining community where I saw a village inset up in the mountains about 10 kilometers away. I would be going over a pass and was hoping that was not it because of the infinite switch backs for endless miles, or so it seemed. I told the men banging away at new homes where I was headed and they directed me at the fork of the road.

Continuing upstream, I pass a man lounging a top a mound of stones nearly 5 meters high and he lazily assures me I’m headed in the correct direction. There are roads always branching off this mining road and doubt is beginning to grow within me, with a nagging hint of anxiety. Traversing through mounds of stones, old rusted mining machines and equipment, the road going up and down and crossing paths with a few massive trucks, assuming if I was going in the wrong direction, someone would alert me.

Around three o’clock I find myself looking across the raging river that was the source for the water I had been cycling along for the day. The water is coming from the mountains, my right side and snaking to my left and continuing down through the villages I traveled through earlier. There are some trucks to my right, so before deciding to cross the water, I ride the two kilometers up a hill to find someone to speak with or an alternative route.

Riding through a few switchbacks and pass a shepherd and his cattle, I arrive to a small work community where mining trucks and Land Rovers are in a parking lot with a few old aluminum sided buildings. Passing through the checkpoint before two men stop me and tell me it’s the wrong way. With arm movements and finger pointing, I must cross the water.

Backtracking to the bank of the water, gulping the hints of fear and anxiety down, I know that if I were to set up camp and wait until sunrise the water would perhaps be lower.

Standing on the edge of the riverbank, created out of massive stones and gravel, my thoughts and apprehension is drowned out by the water beating against the stones and cliffs. The opposite side of the bank is about 15 meters across and turns into a field of gravel and stones. No sight of a road or tracks. The miners told me this was it; I can’t doubt the directions of locals.

I apprehensively lay the bike on her side, briefly examining the dried blood all over my ankle and foot wile noticing the flies enjoy taking a brief rest on the wounds. The water is rough, muddy…it’s bad, nothing I’ve encountered before and look up into the mountains silently, yet innocently, cursing the summer ice melt.

My riding partner, Chris-Alexandre, is about 30 centimeters shorter and I reassure myself “if HE can do it, I CAN do it!” Heck, and I’ve been on the road longer and a well seasoned veteran. This isn’t a big deal.

“Moseman, you can do this…you’ve been through hell and back, this isn’t anything you can’t defeat.”
Taking a deep breath, standing with my bike to my right and holding the handlebars with a white knuckled grip, I give a good push into the water and the front wheel rolls forward. The front of the bike drops so far down that the water is nearly rushing over my front panniers. The tire doesn’t hit the bottom so I’m pulled further into the water than anticipated. My heart skips and stalls when I realize that I’m well over my head in this situation. Water is now brushing along the bottom of the rear panniers and up to my knees. I can feel the front of the bike wanting to be whipped down the river, giving no consideration to the woman between it and the wall of stone further down. The bicycle behaves like a buoy and I think if I can press the front down it will surely help stabilize. Taking all my might while trying to prevent my body from trembling with fear, this technique doesn’t work. The further the front goes down the greater pressure I feel from my bike, as mother nature’s force is not going to take mercy on me.

wandercyclist_8975

Two helicopters are above me, as I had noticed them circling the area all day. I thought maybe they were surveying the high waters. (I would learn the following day that the reason for the helicopters was because a Civil War had erupted in the Pamirs that morning.) I look up, now one is hovering over me. Do they see me, and are they worried for my safety?

The next few minutes would feel like hours, a lifetime, an eternity.
I trudge further into the water so I’m standing next to the left front pannier, pressing my body against the bag in hopes to steady the bike and push her back up the bank. Looking up into the sky, watching the helicopter hover above me, I realize my body isn’t going to be able to stand against this pressure for much longer. What do I need to do to survive this situation to the best of my possibility?

It’s very difficult to make a fast, drastic, life altering decision when fear has taken over your senses. Colors are more vivid, sounds more intense; your heartbeat is pounding in your head while your mind is sitting in the bottom of your guts. Your reality, and world, is spinning out of orbit and you have no idea where you will land or how you will fall. One is left, merciless, to the innate instinct; I can only hope that mere 30 year of existence in this lifetime have taught me a few things for survival.

Continually trying to push the bike up the bank, from the side, is not going to work. Gripping for life on the handlebars, knuckle bones, tendons, muscles wanting to break through my sun cured, leathered, skin from the desert sun. I move my body very slowly and carefully to the front of the bike. Attempting to awkwardly straddle the front wheel between my thighs, but still a bit lopsided to the left. The water is well up to my waist, as I stand at 6’ tall. Breathe, relax, concentrate, PUSH.

NO.

Looking up. Am I praying for the helicopter to drop a ladder like I’ve seen in rescue shows or for the Gods in the heavens to save me? Wanting to raise my arms to wave for help, I know this is impossible as I will lose the bike, my stance and will be swept away before my palms leave the handlebars.

Do I let go of the bike? Do I sacrifice all my gear and let her go? The only possessions in my life for years only to be swept away because of a complete ignorant and irrational decision.

Did Ego come to play with me by the river that afternoon?
The camera! Not just the camera…my digital files! A year of photos and files are in that back rack bag. The water is not over the rear bags, yet, but if I press my front wheel down the water is rushing against my bar bag that has my DSLR, passport, and cell phone.

I look downstream where the river crashes against stone cliffs and then turns left at a nearly 90 degree angle.

Turning my face to the sky and scream “Help” like I’ve never screamed in my entire life. I am going to die…my life is going to end, right here, NOW. There is no way my body will survive that abrupt bend in the river. I imagine my body hanging onto the floating bike until it crashes against the stones. How long would I go down the river with my bike…imagining my greatest possessions in life being bashed against stones, thrown around the river, until my lifeless body gives up and nothing would be recognizable?

Long, loud, and wailing screams of help are being released into the canyon, echoing and bouncing around the mountaintops. Finally I see three men watching from the mining area I had been earlier.

“Please, help me, I’m going to die!!!! Help me, PLEASE!!!”
They stand there and I know there is no way I can hold this up even if they do come to help.

“PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE!!! HELP ME!!!!!!” I had tried to bring up my Russian to clarify my meaning but I couldn’t grab the necessary words from the air spilling from my terrified body.

I begin to have images of my mother and father. There is a feeling rushing over me, almost like their presence is near. The images alternate between them; my childhood home and town. It’s more a feeling than imagery. I am going to die, this is the end. With another near death experience in my past because of a car wreck, I know this feeling and it’s growing stronger every moment.

My personal fears are overtaken with the realization my parents will NEVER see me again. They will never be able to say goodbye; not one last hug or kiss. The crashing water will dismantle my undernourished body and they will never see the physical presence of what they had created. I am not fearing my disappearance but the pain I will cause my dear mother and father. Losing my life WILL kill them. I must figure this out, not for my own livelihood but for the sake of those that made the sacrifice of their own lives for mine.

It’s guilt that overwhelms my consciousnesses during those last moments of life. I’ve been selfish. Leaving my friends years ago, ending a long love affair, and not being closer to my parents. Not being a better daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend…a better person. This would be the ultimate of selfishness, to let my life be taken away and leave those behind to suffer.

What’s the most important thing on my bike? I’m going to have to try and remove the bags and throw them up on the bank and hopefully lighten the pressure of nature beating against me.

The bar bag: it holds my passport, camera, cell phone, and money. How am I going to manage this balancing act and release the bag to toss onto the river bank? Am I even going to be able to get enough force behind the launch of these essential items. I’m no longer even thinking about the hard drive and year’s worth of files in the back bag. Thousands of photographic images of the persecuted Uyghur minority of Xinjiang, would now be lost and destroyed forever.

In a split moment after I release my hand to reach for the bar bag release, the bike is thrown on top of me and I’m pinned under with the top tube against my collarbones. All my gear is completely submerged and visualize all my photo gear and files being flooded by the brown silt filled water. The current turns me counterclockwise and I’m facing my death, straight to bend of the river and against the unforgiving stone wall.

My parents are now standing before me in a grayish and hazy cloud, arm and arm as I remember them from my childhood. This is the end, you will never see me again. It’s over. This is going to kill you both, so much more pain for you two and I will realize none of it. I can’t…it just can’t happen this way.

Two meters down the river I’m pulling myself out on my back,with my eyes finally opening, onto the bank with my face to the sky and bike still on top of me.
The plastic bin that holds my food, cooking supplies, and a book had been pushed out from a tight bungee cord and are now moving swiftly down the river.

Within a second the bike is clearly out of the water and I’m examining myself for serious wounds and see the water line on my shirt nearly hitting my shoulders.

There is no time to cry, no time to panic, not even a chance for recovery and to smack myself to see if I’m actually still ALIVE because the bags have been flooded and I have to get my gear out to dry. Unloading the bags trembling, shaking, teeth chattering, absolutely exhausted. This shouldn’t be happening, but it has and it’s my fault. I should have known better, I’m an idiot. Beginning to cry, the first in years…not heavy and heaving because I’m too exhausted…but silently with big crocodile tears rolling down my sunburned cheeks.

A coal mining truck eventually comes to my rescue and takes me across the water explaining to me they saw my friend earlier. They would leave me at the base of the pass that was a meter wide stone path. Pointing up, telling me that’s the direction I must go.

We unload and they leave, after plenty of “rexmet” and my right hand over my heart. The first friends, a meeting of souls, I would have for this second chance at living. Or, were they simply angels that had descended that mountain in a steel chariot on massive wheels to only escort me safely over Sytx to the “other side”? These days, dreams and reality intermingle too much for me to ever make sense of the dividing lines.

Dumping all my bags next to a pile of rusted mining equipment for the hot Tajikistan sun to dry, I let it out. The tears are running down my face, all over my shirt, losing my breath because of exhaustion of nearly drowning and now the emotional melt down.

wandercyclist_8979

There is no longer a fear of death, was there ever? Perhaps my fear has been more directed at living? What do I fear? Fear prevents movement, progress, growth…this is not me. Maybe I don’t define and experience fear as many do.

I’ve pushed the limits, and beyond, more than most will ever in an entire lifetime. My fear is of the torment I would cause others; I nearly lost my life to only cause others a lifelong mental and emotional death. Near-death stories often tell how the hero sees fleeting images of his lover, his children, and his close friends and feels grief stricken that he will never see them again. This was not the case. I saw the only two people who gave me life out of love, lose one of the greatest things that they’ve created and nurtured in their lifetimes.

Momma and Pops raised me to believe that I must live life for myself but I learned that one of my responsibilities is to hold onto this life for those that love and need me. This simple existence and lifetime isn’t for my benefit, but for those that my soul has intermingled with. To continue to travel within this life, full of passion, conviction and using my personal power and inner strengths to overcome whatever obstacle may stand in my way. Whether man, beast, machine, or my own inner demons…I must go on for there are those that are counting on me, and my many safe returns.

wandercyclist_9256

 

Tajikistan, Part 1 (July 9-22, 2012)

I had arrived in Dushanbe, the capital of Tajikistan that translates to “Monday”, on the late afternoon of July 9th 2012. It wasn’t until Uzbekistan, a month earlier, that I had began to meet other travelers and long distance cyclists. You must realize how this can be somewhat of a shock to someone that has lived on the road for 2 years and would go months without a real conversation in English…and at times catching oneself thinking in Mandarin.

Witnessing generosity, kindness, sympatico, ego, and jealousy…I would’ve preferred to be back out on the high plateaus or desert basins of China. What is “exploring” when you pass a dozen other cyclists on the road and Land Rover’s loaded down with backpackers, spinning up dirt in your face. Not to mention the public thermometers reading a 48C in the sun.

Through a contact, I met with a French girl Christine, and we looked over maps and routes. Another strong willed, independent woman that had been living as an expat for awhile. I was determined to find somewhere to go where I would be off the beaten path…and I found a little route that no one seemed to know much about. I had received a message from Chris-Alexander from Uzbekistan and I would await his arrival…as I sit out the sun and heat under apricot trees or roam through the maze of mud packed homes or visit the local bazaars and watch the people and common day happenings. Also, I would arrange for my permit for the Pamirs which I should of taken care of in Kazakhstan.

The Dushanbe heat is nearly unbearable, awaking at sunrise and feeling the heat take over your body leaving you with the inability to move and sometimes think.

Chris-Alex would arrive around July 16th 2012 and we would prepare to ride together for a bit. I had originally planned on awaiting for his arrival and then would set off on my own but thought why not give it another try…cycling with company. It had been awhile and maybe I needed other thoughts entering my head. Showing him what route I had planned on trying to take, he agreed to give it a try with a smile and reassurance it would be great.

We would set out on the road together on July 18th 2012. The heat is unbearable and the city is grey and hazed. On the edge of the city limits we would stop for some water and a snack and sit in the shade of an abandoned building on the side of the highway. We would get our strength to carry on and within 30km of the city Chris-Alex’s bike would give us some problems and we pulled under an covered area so he could try to fix his bike as I took a nap on the cold concrete with brief moments of relief when a breeze brushed along my sweaty and steaming body.

(You can read Chris-Alexandre’s post at: http://www.allschoolproject.ch/?p=2106)

After Chris fixes his bike we both settle in for an early afternoon nap and as soon as the weather begins to cool we drag our lethargic bodies to our bicycles and carry on.

Photo by Chris-Alexandre:
IMG_0876

Photo by Dhieu (https://www.facebook.com/dheiumading1)
301387_10151033869401315_636859179_n
Dhieu wouldn’t have a map of Central Asia so I passed along mine to him…as I hadn’t any plans to continue through any other ‘stans this go around.

July 19th, the sun rises early and we head out as soon as we can.
July19-1

We would head up over a pass after a tunnel and Chris-Alex was leading the way. An old Russian van would pull up to the side of me and offer me a hitch. Looking at the few tourists inside, I notice one is Chinese, looks like a good opportunity for a chat and I haven’t been cycling for so long that my body is just not wanting to move. The door is slid wide open and two sets of hands easily pulls my loaded bike inside the truck and I take a seat next to the Chinese man. He’s here in Tajikistan for business, specifically working with the roads. We pass Chris-Alex and I shout to him I’ll meet him at the top.

July19-2

Finally, that evening we would turn off the main highway and head directly East towards the Pamirs. The legendary Pamirs…one of the most famous roadways in the world…the far Western edges of the Himalayas…it must be magical, of course.

I distinctly remember setting up our camp that night stripped down to our undergarments because of the sweltering heat and the sweat soaked clothing we had. The water running through our camp was not fit for drinking, nor boiling.

July 20th, 5:47 am

Camp:
July20-1
wandercyclist_8860

We would be on the road by 6:30 am and the tarmac, like many roads of Central Asia, have melted deep crevices in them so you have 2 lines going along the road way. (See video at the end of Tajikistan posting to see examples.) Passing shepherds, goats, and small villages through the day. We would stop for your basic Central Asian style lunches of naan and mutton and perhaps some salad. We would search out water “nyet gas”…no gas. I was noticing how I was treated, or not, by locals when accompanied by a man. I was ignored. No eye contact. Everyone talked to Chris and I was his shadow. Experiencing this before, I knew it’s because I am the lesser sex and culturally you’re just expected to speak to the man only. I felt that I was beginning to miss out on experiences because I had a man with me.

Besides this, the landscape is getting more beautiful, the weather cooler, and the people more amazing.

July20-2

July20-3

Chris and I had decided to meet at a point ahead later in the day to set up camp. The road was pleasant with little to no traffic. A man had driven by in a construction vehicle and passed me a 1 liter bottle of water. There were boys climbing trees picking fruit while elders sat on the ground on cloths. It was peaceful, very quiet, and had plenty of time to think and wander off into my head. It begins to get dark and wonder when I would see stone markings I directed Chris to make to let me know where camp was to be set up.

Around sunset, a Russian pulls up to me in an old Soviet era 4×4 and tries to talk to me. I can’t understand much except about bees, honey, and a place to sleep. I continually explain, and apologize, as I can’t because my friend is up ahead. I must hurry as it’s turning dark very fast. I don’t like to be out after dark in Central Asia just for the simple fact I’m not accustomed to it and my Russian is extremely poor. At least in China I can usually talk my way out of trouble or into safety. I can begin to make out the beginning of the Pamirs in the distance.

July20-4

I’m riding, then walking my bike, well past sunset. It’s been dark for about an hour and I am scanning the landscape for a sign of Chris, whether camp or a light from his headlamp. I see nothing and know I must continue on. Hearing dogs barking, the humming of farm vehicles making their way home, and the blackest of nights…I push my bike further in hopes of finding Chris.

Headlights appear behind me and within a few minutes I have Chris-Alexandre looking at me with a smile, being driven by the Russian man I had met earlier. I had missed the markings Chris laid out and the Russian had found Chris’ camp and somehow was able to work out the confusion and lost friend. Chris explained to me to set up camp around the bend and he would return with his bike and gear, after packing up camp, to find me. Luck.

July 21st 2012

July21-1

Awakened by the shepherds and animals we pack up our camp as neither of used a tent the previous night and just lied in the open field. We were able to sleep a little later than usual as the hills blocked the rising sun from hitting us at sunrise.

Past those hills we would break off the small road and hit a main thoroughfare.

July21-2

We would ride until lunch time where we would feast and then nap under a big tree.

July21-3

Over the past few days we had cycled through some amazing villages. I would see groups of women collecting water at wells, men sitting around chatting, children playing everywhere. Chris and I had a good time together, sitting on the sides of roads, looking, talking…taking it all in. Chris had explained to me his understanding donkeys and was fortunate enough to watch him get on one and nearly break the poor thing, which I couldn’t help but tease him about that. All I can do is kiss them.

220880_10151236864920579_381080084_o

Fortunately, that evening I would not miss Chris’ road marking for camp.

July21-4

A beautiful sunset yet extremely windy at the top of this pass.

July 22

Morning and one of the most amazing sunrises I’ve ever witnessed…we are nearing the Pamirs.

July22-1

July22-2

July22-3

Chris and I would descend down the pass and into the valley. We would pass farmers waving us over from their snacks in the work fields.

We had encountered a part of the route that had been broken down by the river and the locals at a cafe (kofe) had told us there was no way to go on…but we did. The road had been completely demolished and we both struggled with one bike at a time. As our reward we jumped in the river and had a bit of a bath, with soap and all. Then afterwards we napped in the heat under a tree, only to cool off again after our naps.

There was a time at a cafe in a town where Chris caught the boys pretending to beat me with a pool stick behind my back. I watched him as he reprimanded them for their behavior. Chris-Alex was great company but I still felt like something was missing having a man around and I was also holding Chris back because I was simply becoming exhausted and felt I was missing photography opportunities.

After catching up with Chris in the late afternoon and see his face, I could read he was getting disappointed in my lag and I explained I wanted to stick behind for a little while and see what I could discover photographically. I am always so reserved about this speech as I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. He takes it well and we decided to meet up ahead, after we see how it goes.

I’m falling in love with the Tajik peoples and the small villages speckled along the route. I want to discover more…so we carry on solo and I would face one of my most scariest moments of my life ahead, alone.

wandercyclist_8910

Choose to live.

“Just choose one, Moseman…both will you lead you somewhere”. At a crossroads where I don’t have a legal permit to be, only 2 buses passing a day, 1 liter of water remaining, eating emergency food rations, and extended time at that altitude was causing horrendous physical effects, I was predicting my demise…you don’t have time to sit at a crossroads examining the paths to see which seems to show a history of more travel or kicking dirt around trying to forsee what will be at the end of each road. It’s not about the path we choose in life, it’s about making a choice and then cycling through with conviction, passion, dedication, free thought, and open heart. It’s not what route you choose that matters, it’s how you live through the journey that you felt was the “right”one at that moment. People say they are “lost”, no, they aren’t…they have chosen not to choose…they haven’t yet begun their journey. How can you be lost in life when you aren’t even living? This ain’t the gospel…just the inner-ramblings of a long-distance-lunatic-cyclist on a saga with skies in the eyes and a fiery heart that rules my journey.

Eleanor Moseman is a photographer and storyteller that cycled solo around Asia and Tibet.

Guess what ya’ll?! I’ve decided to hunker down in late winter/early spring to write the book. Yes…it’s ready to be spilled and chapters written that never graced this blog.

Mercy

Hours spent sitting along the banks of Namucuo, the highest alpine lake on Earth, watching the current bring the most crystal clear water to my feet. Complete silence except for a single heartbeat, the pulsing of my own blood, and the water gently rolling and crashing to accompany the beat of my own rhythm. No one around for as far as eyes could see, small schools of fish coming to the surface, massive black ravens along the bank tending to themselves, and thousands of insects silently skimming across the lake. The waters and skies merging into one along the horizon, unable to differentiate between earth and the heavens. We are one and at the mercy of it all.

Lake Namu in Tibet Autonomous Region and photographed by Eleanor Moseman.

Lake Namu in Tibet Autonomous Region

Uzbekistan, Part 5: Samarkand to Dushanbe, Tajikistan (July 4 – July 9 2012)

I would arrive to Samarkand with very little clue where to find a place to stay. It’s actually a lot easier than I made it out to be but either way I spent 3 hours in the heat trying to find a hostel. At one point when I was sitting on a stoop in a labyrinth of old homes in the “old town” an ambulance pulled up to check on me for heat exhaustion. I explained to them I was okay and what I was trying to find. The guesthouse was only a few minutes away.

I’m going to apologize now for rushing through a lot of these posts. I’ve grown a bit weary of blogging and sometimes I just don’t feel like pulling out stories, feelings, emotions, and deep thoughts from two years ago when I’m developing and following a different train of path right now. What I’m currently chewing on is basically based on these thoughts and feelings but bringing them to maturity and some coherence. In all reality, I really hate writing about facts and history and am in this mode of digging deeper.

Entering the guesthouse with a beautiful garden, it’s a bit quiet at the moment but see one bicycle in the garden. Over the next week I would make some wonderful new friends, people I still stay in contact with. Samarkand made me a bit lazy but it was great meeting so many like minded travelers. You all know who you are, so I don’t have to go over the roster. There were some great times in that guest house and I would run into some of them again in Dushanbe. Chris-Alex would arrive eventually and we had made plans to meet up again in Dushanbe as he was in Tashkent arranging his Visas. I had also made plans to perhaps run into another cyclist, Jacques, in the Pamirs…but he would carry on but would see each other again in Kashgar over a month later.

Leaving July 4th, as it just seemed like the date to move on, I would head towards Dushanbe and predicting I would arrive in less than a week. I bid goodbye to the few that were at the guesthouse after 3 in attempts to beat the nearly unbearable heat of Central Asia. Towards sunset I would begin to climb some hills and few little descents. There would be moments of a few slight descents down a hill.

A not so friendly couple I met in Samarkand would pass me as I was finishing my dinner at a cafe and they asked me if I was okay. I was actually fairly proud of myself considering they left Samarkand before me yet I sped past them.

I would pull over to a little market in hopes to buy water. Before I knew the entire mud packed shop was filled with children women and men offering me fresh, cold well water to drink from. I sat and drank, and talked, and refilled my bottles. This is one of those moments that still sits so vividly with me 2 years later. I remember walking away back to the road and turning around and seeing them all out front waving goodbye with smiles. There are times I regret taking photographs of all these moments but I sometimes wonder if the memories wouldn’t sit with me the way they do after so much time has passed.

I’m nearing mountains towards dusk and there are men on the sides of the street offering me that delicious cold milk beverage I had given to me by that beautiful Uzbek woman in the Nurata mountains. Passing the bowl to me, I drink. I never assume anything is for free and it cost me close to a USA dollar…I look at as supporting the local economy.

Sun is setting and I find myself riding up a gorge of sorts. There is nowhere to really set up a tent so I wait until near nightfall and push my bike off the side of the road and precariously down to the water. It’s one of the most perfect places I’ve slept, ever. I remember lying there, listening to the water stream by and staring into the night sky…nearly falling into a trance state. What I would do to go back to that evening to hear the thoughts running through my head.

A view in the morning. July 5th 2012
wandercyclist_8689

It’s hot and I have a pass to climb. As I’m climbing I have a young man on a donkey keep asking me to ride the bike. He’s getting close to me while on his donkey. I can sense the donkey not feeling comfortable and I’m surely not. After this for about 10 minutes I pull over and stop. I instruct in English and hand signals he needs to go on. I’m getting flustered and I’m hot. It’s not even 10am yet. I can sense a day of frustration looming ahead…

At the top of the pass, I pull over to use the well water to clean my face, brush my teeth, and have a little sponge bath. There is a van pulled over and there is a small group of men watching me. As I’m sitting in the shade resting and looking off into the distance from the summit, they start fondling my bike and one even trying to get on it. So…what do I do…I run over to his van, open the door, get in, and begin to try to turn the truck on. Yeah…they got the jist. I’m just not into dealing with men today and I can feel it all coming to a point.

As I ride away, I now notice my bike has a puncture. Great. (I can feel myself getting stressed again just as I write this.) I pull over and begin to pull out my tools. Before I can even blink I have over a dozen men and boys shoving their hands into the gears, drive train, and grabbing my tools from my hand. Yeah, I get it, I get it…I’m a woman and you’re trying to be men and take care of this and me. I’ve had absolutely enough and start shouting as I’m being suffocated next to my bike by the men surrounding me and even pressing up against me to get a better view. The lady loony has everyone evacuated within a couple of minutes. Finally, let me breathe and work.

wandercyclist_8693

I begin the descent and pass a stretch of cafes where I pull over to cool off with more water. In the concrete basin at the base of the mountain that the public uses to wash off, I look for the puncture in my tube and I can’t find it. I have a very kind boy help me try to find it. We exchange smiles and a few words, he can’t seem to find it either. I thank him and I move along.

A couple hours from dusk, as I’ve now returned to a flat stretch of barren desert landscape I ride through a very small community lining the road. I go slowly and two teen boys wave me over with a gate open into a home. I stop and look over. They are definitely waving to me so I head over, thinking this could be my safe sleeping space for the evening.

I would stay 2 nights here.

Upon entering the courtyard, I’m instructed to sit down on the blanket and finishing having something to eat with the family. There is an older couple present and teenage girls and younger boys. Within 30 minutes, I have had my fingernails painted and now I’m being dragged into the living room inside the house and a dance party has begun with me and all the women and girls. They are playing Bollywood videos and the song “Jimmy” (Archer) comes on and I’m familiar with this one. Again, dance has brought smiles, laughter, and women together across language and culture divides.

The sun has set and now three of the teen girls and I are arranging our sleeping mats in the garden and courtyard. It’s an open space with grapevines lining the edges. The night desert air is now cool and my mind has become calm being with women and girls. I feel safe, this will be a good nights rest under the star sprinkled sky with young girls talking quietly next me…with the conclusion that I will stay tomorrow.

I spend the morning with the younger girls and boys having tea in the neighbors garden.
wandercyclist_8705

wandercyclist_8713

wandercyclist_8737

We go for a walk to visit neighbors and I see a magical site. This taxi pulls over and I see a child get out of the right side door of this Lada. Then the woman…then the donkey!
wandercyclist_8742

Spending some time in the kitchen and baking naan in the tandoor.
wandercyclist_8755

I would spend the remaining of the day with this young woman. There was such an intense feeling of trust with her, she could of probably directed me to do anything and I would followed suit.

wandercyclist_8749

From what I was told by her she is the daughter in law of the family and is responsible for all of the household chores. She told me how she missed her family a lot but kind of just shrugged it off and it accepted it as fact. We went to the market together, milked cows…after finding her, feeding the goats, and she washed and braided my hair. Since cycling, it’s been the first time in a very long time I’ve had hair past my shoulders…over the past 4 years I’ve had so many women and girls fingers run through it. I can’t bare to cut it these days, either.

At one point we were sitting in a garden and I was talking with a group of women and children and there questions about my family and America. I’ll never forget their faces when I explained it was night time at that current moment and that my parents were sleeping.

wandercyclist_8787

wandercyclist_8791

I would be dragged away from her by this one man and his children…his daughter had been spending the day with me earlier. We rode in his car for about 1/4 of kilometer to his neighbors. I knew exactly what was going on, I was being shown off. He then asks me in front of a group of men and a few women why I don’t have babies. Then looks at me and says, “Diseased?!” I’ve had enough with you mister but I play nicely as I know that my safety could be at risk. He shows me around and I try to express my indifference and irritation with him. I just want to go back to the women and girls.

wandercyclist_8798

wandercyclist_8814

Dinner would be prepared this evening in a different family’s house and I would sleep with two of the girls from the previous night under the grapevines and stars. My favorite gal had left earlier to be with her in laws. Again, as I state over and over…I have some return visits that must be made to Uzbekistan to see some of the most wonderful women I’ve ever met.

wandercyclist_8818

wandercyclist_8824

July 7th 2012

A view of the dry and barren landscape. If my memory serves me correctly, I saw a fox of sorts at some time out there. Because of the heat I had to stop as often as possible to get out of the sun and heat. There were a couple of times I really didn’t think I was going to make it through this heat as I was getting physically ill and sick. At one point there was a short stretch of homes with refridgerated coolers along the street. I pulled over to buy cold water and a man behind me got mad at the kid for trying to rip me off. After thanking the man, I bought two.

I spent a lot of time in bus stops in Uzbekistan…a lot. Sometimes with company, human or animals, and others alone. I’ve had cold beverages and even ice cream delivered to me. To all the wanderers going through Central Asia, sit down for a little while and enjoy those bus stops. It was definitely one of the highlights of Central Asia.

After an absolutely exhausting and draining day of heat and riding I catch myself getting caught on a pass at dusk. So the genius I am decided to sleep here. Let me just state that I slept horribly and I woke up with a fine layer of dirt over everything. It’s all part of the adventure and experience…and I would of regretted not taking this opportunity.

July 8th morning:
wandercyclist_8827

View from the road.

wandercyclist_8829

wandercyclist_8834

Today would mark the first and last time I attempted to truck surf up a mountain. The road was in awful condition and I hung onto the back of a dumptruck. It was just too precarious and unsafe so I let go after a little while. I remember seeing a train engine on top of the mountain cliff…it really perplexed me and no I didn’t take a photo. I was absolutely drained.

I would ride through some sand dunes on the side of the road that kids were playing in. I pulled over for a little while to spend some time with them but then carried on and would end up being invited into a garden to sleep for the evening. The people were beyond wonderful and they could tell how exhausted I was as I was nearly falling asleep as I was eating. They gave me a platform to sleep and I remembering falling asleep listening to them talk, watching the sun set through a crop field. Another image in my memory I can’t seem to wipe clean. There is no way a photograph could of captured what my eyes saw at that moment and no way would these words come close to conveying the emotions I had.

July 9th morning I would wake up well before everyone and be on my way and hopefully arrive in Dushanbe by the day’s end.

The view of where I lived the previous evening:

wandercyclist_8844

The last 15 kilometers of Uzbekistan was not enjoyable, besides watching women shake the fruit trees and the children popping birds out of the sky with sling shots. It was so hot.

Then there was this boy on a bicycle. He wouldn’t leave me alone. After about 5 minutes of him harassing me I stop, get off my bike and starting chasing him screaming. A car pulls up to me asking me what the problem was and I try to explain that the boy wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m hot, tired, and I don’t know how much more of men I can deal with. I can’t recount the exact day but I had a beer can thrown at me from a car window going up a hill that was under construction and riding in loose gravel. Cars were riding so close behind me that if I were to spill I would of been immediately run over. The constant sexual harassment from men and if they weren’t harassing me I could see in their eyes what they were thinking. I wanted to get to Tajikistan without any more problems.

There were also some really great men, the majority were very kind to me. Like everywhere, the countryside and common man is generally harmless.

I get to the border and the Russian speaking Uzbek border guard demands to go through all my bags including my netbook. I had been warned of this and played by her rules and continually explaining to her repeated question, “what is this”, “what is this”?

Going through the Tajik border control I get to the other side and go into a cafe to eat and rest…and debate on hitching a ride with one of the dozens of taxis on the border.

After a couple of hours of sitting in the shade mulling over my decision I decided to talk to a taxi with a station wagon. We await for more people going to Dushanbe and when they arrive, we leave. I was extremely happy with my decision as the road was under construction and would of easily taken me another day.

Being let off at the only guest house in Dushanbe, I open the door to see a yard of over a dozen tents and an overwhelming amount of people. The not so nice cyclists from Samarkand arrive almost right after me and I admit to hitching a ride for the last stretch. Of course I get shit for this but you know what…don’t judge me. I know they had only been on the road for 3 months at this time and knew nothing about me nor knew what it was like to travel as a solo woman. A man with Ural would hassle me a bit about it too…but after my shower he and I would spend a few hours chatting. Interestingly enough, our chatting has continued for 2 years and I just Skyped with him this morning. You can read about his adventures here: http://advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=923656

To be continued…

It’s now mid July and I’m planning on doing a month adventure in the next few months. I’m awaiting to hear back about a bid on a job that will arrange my schedule accordingly.

Also, I’m looking to do another Kickstarter to continue some projects in Bangladesh.

Again, thanks to all of you, old and new fans, for following along and all the support over the years. I’m not sure where I would be without all of you.

LOVE!

Tibet and Xinjiang

Until Friday, April 18th 2014, I am making a newly published eBook available for free! It’s an electronic version of “Life on the Tibetan Plateau”. This e-version has an added bonus of the text that was printed in the Brooks Bugle.

You can download from here: Life on the Tibetan Plateau

Also, last week a collection of 139 Uyghur photographs were published into an eBook as well. You can download by visiting: Uyghur

wandercyclist_5193

Partners

I knew the day was coming upon me, for the second time. The last week has been fleeting memories of riding with the Belgian brothers, Matthieu and Lucas of NESW by Bike. Walking outside today with a short sleeve shirt on and remembering walking along snow and ice with frozen boots, over the Irkeshtam Pass…freezing.

There is something about cycling with someone, or a pair of brothers, that is very special and a bond that will last forever. I can even hear their voices echoing in my thoughts today. But there is something even more special of a bond when you work together as a team to make it through some of the toughest days I’ve seen. It was not the first risky place I’d been, and surely not the last, although my tour would only continue for about 5 months afterwards.

I’ve cycled with a total of 4 men, and each one of them has a special place in my heart. The first went on for 6 weeks and the last would be only 3 days, although we would spend a lot of time stuck in Dushanbe together. The word “partner” means something to me that most people can not define and I can’t with words. Even now, one years and 4 months from my temporary retirement, the idea of “relationship”, “partner”, “friend” take on a completely different meaning.

A partner is someone that encourages you to excel, encourages you to push beyond those barriers set only by yourself, encourages you to live your dream and passion even if it may mean they are absent during those times. Not just someone to help carry the water, the gear, or fix a puncture or set up camp. A partner is someone you can go an entire day without speaking and then under a star filled sky, you share your personal epiphanies that were dreamed up during the day. Excitement in each other’s voices, recognizing where these thoughts come from…deep within the wandering soul…searching for something more within themselves and the world. Respect for one another and appreciation of the differences that in all reality, make the team that much stronger.

There are a few men I encountered along my travels that I never cycled with or spent time with on the road…and these few are still very special to me. The ones I can write to when I’m bogged down with “reality”, when I am having a hard time finding my footing, a relationship between two people that remind one another of their strength’s. They are also the ones I can write to when I have exciting news or something happening in my life and they share my excitement. We share excitement through emails and Skype of our future plans, or map purchases, or just the simple act of discussing dinner plans.

Sure, if I were to sum up my trip I would say it’s when I learned to love myself. But, I also learned what it’s like to care about and love strangers, just for the simple fact we are all looking for something more in our life, in the universe. Whether we are on 2 wheels, in a bus, walking, hitch-hiking…we all know there is something more out there for us. We’ve chosen an unconventional path to find the answers in our life and as a group of dirtbags, misfits, hobos, gypsies…it’s our duty to help our partners when we see struggle.

Let’s put down that ego of who has cycled the furthest, the most countries, the highest peak, who has done it solo or with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Who cares if they take a bus, who cares if they fly somewhere, who cares if the bike is thrown on the back of a lorry for a day, who cares? Why should anyone care about how someone else wants to conduct their journey? Surely, we all know, there are those that are out for the records and the glory but that’s not my game nor for the company I keep. We do it because we all need answers…we all having a burning desire…a curiosity that MUST be answered within this lifetime.

One of my biggest pieces of advice, for solo travelers especially, is to keep these people you will meet on the road close to your heart. When you return home you will need these people and they will need you. The partnership will never end, the bond is tighter than any chain that my bicycle has ever had rotating around that steel drive train.

wandercyclist_7435

I would love to hear from you!